What If?
by Damaxan13
Summary: These are a bunch of VERY short stories by me of various What If? situtions. Rated M for lime, language, violence, and complete stupdiness. Too many pairings to list! Yaoi!
1. What if? PMS

**Summary: **A collection of What If? stories by none other than moi. Mwahaha. ****

Disclaimer: D00d, if I owned Kingdom Hearts, I'd make other people write the fanfictions.

**Warning**: These stories are very corrupted…including violence, nonsense, lime, and much more crap I don't feel like listing.

**Note**: Flames will be used for roasting marshmallows. For each mini-story, there will be characters and other stuff like that from a certain other video game, manga, or anime.  
**  
Crossover: **Inuyasha****

Cookie Count: 0

w00t. Now for story number one…

What if Kairi and Selphie had an extreme case of PMS?

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Kairi, Selphie, and Sora were playing blackjack. Unfortunately, our favorite brown-haired boy was winning. Every game.

"OH MY FUCK!" Kairi screamed. "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! YOU FUCKING PISS ME OFF! YOU BETTER STOP FUCKING WINNING BEFORE I REALLY GET PISSED, YOU ASSWIPE!" She took a deep breathe.

"Holy fuck, Kairi! Calm down!" Sora whimpered. "Im scared…"

"HEY! DON'T BE MEAN TO KAIRI! WHAT DID SHE DO TO YOU, BITCH? IF SHE SCARED YOU, YOU SHOULD SEE ME WHEN IM PISSED!" Selphie screamed even louder, and took out a knife and began frolicking around with it.

"WAA! MOMMY!" Sora took off crying. Kairi started running after him and screaming. Then, a man with a robe and a stave with black hair walked out of the bushes.

"Young beauty! Stop running!" He yelled.

"What the fuck do you want, Miroku?" She grumbled. He took her hands in his.

"Please, will you bear my child?" Miroku asked.

"Fuck no!" Kairi yelled, and smacked him hard. He passed out from the impact.

"Ugh…." Miroku fell to the ground.

"Now, where is that fucker?" Kairi began following his footsteps, and found he was in the secret place. And jerking off.

"Oi! Let me help!" She said.

"Ungh…no…I don't….ughhh…need help…" Sora moaned out.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY? I AM GOING TO BEAT YOUR FUCKING ASS NOW!" Kairi screeched, and launched herself at Sora. Sora quickly zipped up his jumper and began running around. Then, a bunch of flying toasters flew out of the knobless door, and started shooting Kairi with burnt toast. She twitched, and fainted. The toasters started doing the Macarena, and then they went back to where they had come from.

"RIKU! RIKU RIKU!" Sora was yelling, and ran into his boyfriend's bedroom. Riku was banging his grandma.

"S-Sora!"

"HOLY FUCK! GRANDMA?" Sora yelled, and slapped his grandma who died and started foaming at the mouth.

"Sora! I can explain! She was CRAZY! She threatened to kill me if I hadn't fucked her senseless!" Riku was in tears.

"Oh."

"Well, what's the matter?" Riku asked. He zipped his pants.

"Kairi and Selphie are bitching, and then Miroku asked Kairi to bear his child! Kairi and Selphie are REALLY scaring me!" Sora was in fetal position and spazing. Riku watched his helpless boyfriend. Then he stopped.

"Well, I don't think you would know what PMS means do you?" Riku asked.

"Pink Muffins Suck?" Pff. So naive.

"No. Well, that's what Kairi and Selphie are going through."

"Oh. Well, what is it?"

"Well, there is this thing called a period. Girls get it every month so they can have babies. Right before they get their period, they get PMS. It means Pre-Menstrual Symptom. Menstrual is another way of saying period."

"OOOOOH!" Sora said, and grinned. Riku couldn't help himself, and he started molesting Sora. Then Miroku came in and joined the banging frenzy. Then Inuyasha. And Wakka. And Tidus. A very jealous Kairi and a very jealous Selphie stormed in the room and started shouting at once.

"WHY CAN'T I EVER GET WHAT I WANT? I WANT TO JOIN THE GANGBANG! ALL OF YOU FUCKERS SUCK AND I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!" Selphie screamed, and began mutilating all of the boys. And then she discovered that Inuyasha had been impregnated by Miroku, but she killed the fertilized egg anyway. Kairi joined in the stabbing too, until the room was filled with the bodies of the sexy-momma guys all bloodied up and crap like that. Then, realization hit Kairi.

"Shit. SHIT SHIT SHIT!" Kairi screamed. And then started crying. Riku's parents came in the room.

"Kairi! What happened!"

"I-It's just a si-simple case o-of PMS, that's' all….n-now I wa-ant a Snickers and some Midol." She whimpered. Riku's parents nodded.

"Okay, dear. Anything for a guest! What about you Selphie?"

"I WANT TO FROLIC!" She screamed.

"Um….ok honey. Make yourself at home, and they closed the door to get some snickers and Midol.

"Frolic, frolic, I HATE EVERYTHING, frolic, frolic…" Selphie was saying as she frolicked around the corpses. Kairi joined too.

END.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Well. This is what happens when I get REALLY REALLY bored, I've been watching too much South Park, and its 2:00am. I shall have more What If? situations, and the next one shall be…

What if everyone was extremely optimistic?


	2. What if? Optimistic

**Disclaimer**: D00d, if I owned Kingdom Hearts, I'd make other people write the fanfictions.

**Warning**: These stories are very corrupted…including violence, nonsense, lime, and much more crap I don't feel like listing.

**Note**: Flames will be used for roasting marshmallows. For each mini-story, there will be characters and other stuff like that from a certain other video game, manga, or anime.  
**  
Crossover: **Final Fantasy X-2****

Cookie Count: 0  
w0rd. Chapter 2.

What if everyone was unhealthily optimistic?

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

One day, the world was going crazy. Final Fantasy X-2 became real, and all the characters began launching nukes at each other. LeBlanc was chasing Nooj around begging to get laid, Gippal was screwing Rikku, and Baralai and Vegnagun were pole dancing. Link too.

ANYWAY.

Nukes were flying everywhere, and the KH trio was frolicking in the fields of dead bodies.

"Oh yay!" Kairi giggled. "Now that people are dying, we will have more stuff to clean!"

"And the nukes are destroying everything, which is really happy!" Riku said.

"YEAH!" Sora yelled. Everyone was still frolicking and giggling as the nukes were flying everywhere. Then a birdie flew by and was burnt into a million pieces by a tiny nuke.

"Wow! That bird just exploded! I must use my cleanliness and clean up the mess!" Said Sora, and scooped up the ashes.

"We are so cool and optimistic!" Kairi said, and the three giggled. After they finished frolicking in circles, they frolicked to the play island. A black vortex of energy was swirling around it. Shuyin and Lenne were sitting on the dock.

"Oooooo pretty colors…." Shuyin said and drooled.

"Yes, Shuyin, pretty." Said Lenne. She wanted to strangle the thick-skulled blonde right then and there, but he was just so goddam sexy, she couldn't. Vegnagun, Link, and Baralai were still pole dancing to "Everybody Dance Now".

"Look at that swirling vortex of doom! It's a Kodak moment!" Riku exclaimed, and took a picture.

"Wow! I'm so happy!" Kairi said.

"Me too. Let's frolic!" Sora said, and they frolicked until the end of the day.

At the end of the day, everyone had giggled themselves silly.

"This is so funny!" Said Kairi as they were setting cockroaches on fire. It was QUITE entertaining.

"Yeah! If we keep it up, these icky cockroaches won't come near us anymore!" Riku reported. He giggled. He began prancing around and all the nukes (which were still falling) miraculously missed him. The other two pranced also. Rikku and Gippal were now sleeping. Nooj had finally fucked Leblanc, but was tired after 30 rounds and went to sleep.

"Damn, super-sperm!" A very drink Gippal had said to Nooj right before he collapsed.

"All of this prancing and frolicking is tiring." Sora said.

"Yeah." Riku agreed.

"YEEEEE-AAAY-UH!." Kairi showed off her Lil' Jon accent.  
"  
"Well, I'm going to go. I have to go clean, clean, clean, and then I have to go tell my little brother Shinra how much I love him! By my happy, frolicking, optimistic friends!" Sora said as he pranced off into the sunset.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Sorry that was so short. I've already run out of ideas. Have any? R&R!


	3. What If? Chatroom

**Disclaimer**: D00d, if I owned Kingdom Hearts, I'd make other people write the fanfictions.

**Warning**: These stories are very corrupted…including violence, nonsense, lime, and much more crap I don't feel like listing.

**Note**: Flames will be used for roasting marshmallows. For each mini-story, there will be characters and other stuff like that from a certain other video game, manga, or anime.

Uhm…if you like Michael Jackson, then I'm sorry that this chapter might offend you.  
**  
Crossover: **None.

**Cookie Count: **5

w00tah!

Sora – l y k o m g z s p a z

Riku – SoulEater263

Kairi – ILoveFluffyBunnies

Ansem - xButtsecksx

Tidus – MyBigStick62

Selphie – Paopu3459300

Wakka – BlitzballIsCool

What if everyone discovered the joys of Chatrooms?

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

**_You have just entered chat 'DestinyIslands' at 4:29pm.  
_  
l y k o m g z s p a z:** Is ne1 here?**  
**  
**SoulEater263:** Sora, how many times have I told you not to talk like that? It makes my eyes bleed. T.T

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** wut r u talkn abut? U r meen I h8 u meenie meenie poop.   

**ILoveFluffyBunnies:** What the heck? I can never understand what he is saying.

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** I H8 U 2 GO AWAY U STOOPD HED I WIL HURT U!11!11!1!11! 

_**l y k o m g z s p a z has left the chatroom.**  
_  
**SoulEater263:** …Suit yourself. xD

**_l y k o m g z s p a z has entered the chatroom.  
_  
SoulEater263:** And Kairi, please. It's okay to say 'bad words'. See?

**_l y k o m g z s p a z has left the chatroom.  
_  
SoulEater263: **"That fucking bitch was being an ass so I slapped her as fucking hard as I could and she called me a buttfuck and ran away." That wasn't so bad was it?****

_Blitzball-Is-Cool has entered the chatroom.  
_  
ILoveFluffyBunnies: Shut up, Riku.Hi Wakka!

_**l y k o m g z s p a z has entered the chatroom.**  
_  
**_l y k o m g z s p a z has left the chatroom.  
_  
BlitzballIsCool: **Wassup everyone?

**_l y k o m g z s p a z has entered the chatroom._**

**SoulEater263:** SORA YOU STUPID FUCK! STOP IT!

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** fin wutevr.

**_Paopu3459300 has entered the chatroom.  
_**  
**BlitzballIsCool:** Hi Selphie. This is really boring. D:

**Paopu3459300:** Well, I just got here, so I'll decide that.

**ILoveFluffyBunnies:** Hey, Selphie! Do you want to come over later?

**BlitzballIsCool:** Um no she can't hehe. ..

**ILoveFluffyBunnies:** ?

**Paopu3459300:** Hehe yeah I can't oh look at the time I have to go by everyone see you later hehehe.

**_Paopu3459300 has left the chatroom._**

**BlitzballIsCool:** Ya gotta go see ya'll later hehehehehehe.

**_BlitzballIsCool has left the chatroom._**

**_MyBigStick62 has entered the chatroom.  
_**  
**SoulEater263:** What's up with them?

**MyBigStick62:** What's up with who?

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** I duno I tink dey r lyk goin out r sumtin ya I tink im rite lololololol Im so cul u rnt cul lololol

**ILoveFluffyBunnies:** Wakka and Selphie. They are acting…odd.

**MyBigStick62:** Oh yeah. They are going out now. Doesn't anyone know?

**ILoveFluffyBunnies:** Oh, that whore. She told me really loved me for me! Not just because the sex was to die for! I'm going to give her a good spanking tonight!

**l y k o m g z s p a z**: WTF?

**SoulEater263:** O.O

**MyBigStick62:** Holy shit.

**ILoveFluffyBunnies**: Okay, yeah, so I'm gay. Who cares?

**SoulEater263:** But Kairi! You slut around with every guy on the goddamn island!

**ILoveFluffyBunnies:** And girl. Being a whore is great…

**l y k o m g z s p a z: **u hor. I h8 u even mor now. Im guna mak da evil toastrs et ur hed 2nite lolololol it wil be so funi!11!1!111!11!1!1

**MyBigStick62:** Wow. I never knew.

**ILoveFluffyBunnies:** Who is MyBigStick62, anyway? 

**MyBigStick62:** It's Tidus!

**ILoveFluffyBunnies:** Ew. That's sick. Even though it's true. Good times, good times…

**MyBigStick62:** Kairi, shut the fuck up.

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** Ya, tidus. U r weerd u ned 2 get a culr naim lyk min.

**MyBigStick62:** Oh, yeah, sure. Lykomgzspaz sure is a cool name. –rolls eyes- 

**SoulEater263:** But why…your big stick? No one cares how big your…stick is. D:

**MyBigStick62:** I didn't mean it like…that. I meant it like…well; I fight with my big-ass stick, so yeah. I'm proud of it.

**ILoveFluffyBunnies:** Riku, you aren't talking much.

**MyBigStick62:** Your horny, aren't you.

**ILoveFluffyBunnies:** Maybe I am. ;-)

**MyBigStick62:** No, not you. Riku. I can tell. He is probably looking at porn.

**SoulEater263:** Yup. And not only porn….it's my secret stash of pictures of Sora! I have him in the shower, sleeping, brushing his teeth, getting dressed, at the beach, and ooh…here's one of him jacking off to…MICHEAL JACKSON'S PICTURE? OH SHIT!

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** RIKU U R A STALKR I H8 U AN SO WUT IF I LUV MJ HE IS A SEKSI BEEST!

**ILoveFluffyBunnies:** That's sick. That's truly sick. Sora, get a life.

**MyBigStick62:** D:

**MyBigStick62:** D:

**SoulEater263:** D:

**ILoveFluffyBunnies:** D:

**MyBigStick62:** D:

**ILoveFluffyBunnies:** D:

**SoulEater263:** D:

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** ok ok I get it gosh u r al meen.

**SoulEater263:** Hah. I have ultimate blackmail.

**_xButtsecksx has entered the chatroom._**

**SoulEater263:** AND IT'S SORA LOVES A CHILD MOLESTER!

**xButtsecksx:** Oh, really? Sora loves me?

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** LYK OMGZ SPAZ IS IT RELY U MIKEL? I LUV U!

**MyBigStick62:** Um. Who the hell are you?

**xButtsecksx:** I am Ansem. Nice to meet you, oh-so-fuckable children.

**ILoveFluffyBunnies:** Hm…Ansem. I haven't heard of you before. ;-)

**SoulEater263:** o.o

**MyBigStick62:** ...?

**l y k o m g z s p a z: **:3

**xButtsecksx:** Who may you be, darling?

**ILoveFluffyBunnies:** I'm Kairi. I love you. Let's have sex.

**xButtsecksx:** You read my mind, Kairi. I'll meet you at the park? You can come back to my place. ;-)

**SoulEater263:** O.O

**MyBigStick62:** ?

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** D: D: D:

**ILoveFluffyBunnies: **Of course I will. ;-) I'll be there in 10.

**xButtsecksx:** Okay, honey. Take your time. : )

**_ILoveFluffyBunnies has left the chatroom._**

**xButtsecksx:** If any of you want to have a fun time, you know who to ask. ;-) ;-) ;-)

**MyBigStick62: **Rapist.

**SoulEater263:** Go fuck your mom.

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** omg omg omg omg I h8 u lots now. Lololololol!11!111!11!1!1

**xButtsecksx: **Oh, feisty, are we? I like that in bed. ;-) Ta-ta for now, sweeties. Be good.

**_xButtsecksx has left the chatroom._**

MyBigStick62: Holy.

**SoulEater263:** Fucking.

**MyBigStick62: **Shit.**__**

l y k o m g z s p a z: OMG****OMG OMG HE IS GUNA RAPE ME IN MY SLEP!

**SoulEater263:** Nah. He doesn't even know where we live, but just in case, I'm going to go lock my door. Be right back.

**MyBigStick62: **Same. Brb

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** OMG DAT IS A GUD IDEAZ! IM GUNA DO DAT 2! BRBRBRBRB

**MyBigStick62: **Back.

**SoulEater263:** Same here.

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** Me 2. :D

**MyBigStick62: **Hey – Wakka is here. I think I'm going to go. Gotta here his stories of how Kairi is in bed…and I have to tell him what happened. XD ttyl, everyone.

**SoulEater263:** Okay. See you. Bye, Tidus.

**MyBigStick62: **Baibai.

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** BI I WIL C U L8R!

**_MyBigStick62 has left the chatroom._**

**SoulEater263:** Finally. Just you and me.

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** Uh ya I ges lol

**SoulEater263:** Uh huh.

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** omg ges wat.

**SoulEater263:** What, Sora.

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** I CAN SMEL UR BRAINS! LOLZ U HAV SPICY BRAINS!

**SoulEater263:** X.x

**SoulEater263:** Okay, I really can't take you seriously like this. It's hard to imagine I'm talking to the same Sora that moaned and writhed under me not so long ago.

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** omg ya I no I shuld stop talkin lik dis but it is so e z an I wanna so ya. 

**SoulEater263:** …

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** But….if you like it better when I talk like this, I will gladly. But only for you.

**SoulEater263:** 

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** So, do you want to come over and make out or something?

**SoulEater263:** Of course, baby. Glad too. 

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** See you in a few.

**SoulEater263:**'Aight. See you, Sora.

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** Bye, Riku.

**_SoulEater263 has left the chatroom._**

**l y k o m g z s p a z: **Hey.

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** Hey you.

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** Yeah, you.

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** Reading this right now.

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** Guess what?

**l y k o m g z s p a z:** I didn't just try to smell your spicy brains. 

**_l y k o m g z s p a z has left the chatroom.  
_**  
OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

x3 How'd you all like it? Tee-hee. Sorry if it wasn't that funny. I was uberly tired and half asleep when I wrote this. X.x R&R! Up next…

What if everyone, indeed, DID look like Riku?  
(Credit to stickxkeyblade)

Thank you, reviewers!


End file.
